It got into my head.

WOD

2 Rounds:
500m Row
25 Thrusters (45/35)
15 Pullups

RESULTS

12:15 or 12:51... I actually think it was 12:15 but I wrote 12:51 on the Board.  Doesn't matter either way, I didn't bring it today.

ANALYSIS

This WOD fucked with my head SO badly.  I set myself up for failure before we even started actually... as soon as I got to the box, I realized I was working out with Jenn and Mike Jones. FML - two of our fastest crossfitters. Immediately my brain went to disappointment. I didn't want to be finishing my first round when they were finishing their second.  Ego rears its head part 1.

Then we worked on sprinting row technique.  I always thought I was a good rower, but I find when I break down movements and then go back to focusing on the movement  as a whole I get overwhelmed, thinking about too many small movements and mess it all up.  Yeah, that was me on the rower today. I know better than to shoot my hips back! 

The biggest disappointment I had in myself today is that I actually started to give up. Ego - nail - coffin.  I stopped twice during the second round 500m row... like completely stopped.  I HAVE NEVER STOPPED ON A ROW.  I kept hearing the "you can't do this" in my head and no matter how hard I tried to push it out, I just couldn't.  And then I was stuck having to finish my second round with Andrew, Mike and Jen all staring at me - which was really just them cheering me on and being supportive... but in my warped head, they were staring. judging. PLAY WITH THE BABY!  I kid... but my ego was burnt today.  And burnt mostly because I know I could have done better. I could have pushed through that last row, I could have stayed on the bar for 15 pull-ups, I definitely could have finished 25 thrusters without putting the bar down.  I just didn't do it.

I do think my ego is still bruised from earlier this week... and I will get over that eventually.  Though in the spirit of full disclosure it is going to be hard to see all the new coaches in the new space. Shawn gave me great advice about tabling my "girl emotions" and I will... but this week I am still pouting. And I am positive that played into my shitty performance and attitude today. 

Ok, moving on.  Finding inspiration in one of my favorite xfit quotes: "I almost always want to look pretty, except when I'm doing CrossFit. Then I want to be badass and breathe hard and keep my vow to never cheat, never quit." ~ Melissa 'Melicious' Joulwan

And cool news... I am working out Saturday at Crossfit Verve - Matt Chan's box. I kinda hope I get to meet him :)